Too much on my plate but I am still hungry

I'm almost there. I've almost overcome the stress load for this term, only the finish line needs to be crossed. The best view comes after the hardest climb, and for me that view is driving to the safe haven of home for a much deserved Christmas vacation. I am under so much pressure now; however, I am myself the one who set it over me.

What screws us up most in life is the picture in our head of how it's supposed to be. Keeping this in mind I embrace this week filled with Christmas parties and fun, as well as tons of studying. First and foremost, I have to mention tomorrow. Our student association's Christmas party, my Christmas party, is tomorrow and my mind is about to explode thinking about all the things I have to remember to bring and all the responsibilities I have. I do not stand alone in this, thank god, but I desperately want it to be perfect so everyone will have a good time. And I don't even want to settle to that, I want to blow them away with what we have been able to create in a month and with a tiny budget. A perfectionist such as me, it is not simple to organize something I am very passionate about. All this planning, lists I've made, meetings held, equipment shopping trips, budget calculations, dress hunting and endless expectations are coming to an end tomorrow and I couldn't be happier. I just want to have it all so figured out that I can relax and enjoy tomorrow night, so that it will all be worth it.

I am extremely glad I will be surrounded by friends this week 'cause even though most of my time will be spent with them, hanging out in a Christmas spirit, I feel like after this week I will have given all I have to socially offer. In that sense there is a nice balance, pressure to provide something both socially and academically, as we get to the huge pile of stress aka assignments to finish. I just wrote a list of things I have to do before January and it includes three 4-page essays, three smaller essays, a large portfolio with the papers I have produced this term and evaluation of my progress as well as two books for a history exam.

Nice and easy, huh? That's what I meant by deserving the vacation. I am not complaining in the sense that I do not want to do any of that, though, I complain about having all the deadlines almost at once. 

Now that I got all this out of my head and in this post, I feel a steady calmness mixed with confidence. We're going to kill it tomorrow, it'll be perfect, I'm going to finish all my duties both socially and educationally in time so that I can proudly say I did it. I know I will.

After all, it is this simple: Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end. 

Here I go again

I can't believe it, finally things are starting to go the way I have wished for so long. I just found out I got an apartment from the city center and I am so thrilled I cannot probably sleep tonight. It is incredibly close to everything, especially the very center, the university and my friends! First finding the perfect little black dress and now this, it's been a lucky few days!

I will have a decrease in rent to be paid and an increase in the number or roommates and definitely in quality of life! Everything is turning out perfectly.

I am so excited that it's ridiculous.

 

Little black dress

The excruciating hunt is finally over. I found it. The perfect little black dress. 

Never have I felt this classy before, The Dress hanging in my closet, trying on red lipstick and doing my hair up on a chic braided bun, low on the back of my neck.

Perfection. Elegance. Christmas.

 

My faith in humanity has been restored

I came home, went to the elevator and my neighbor, who I've barely ever seen even by a glimpse, was sitting on the floor and changing winter tires to a yellow bike-thingy where you have a sidecar in front of it for kids. He greeted me with a big smile (and not only because what he was doing looked a bit ridiculous), and after I had pushed the elevator button, we talked about putting up Christmas lights. He told me he'd put Christmas lights to the bike as well. It was so nice.

Allright, society. Maybe there's more to you than I gave you credit for. 

Algo diferente

Tantas veces he pensado que podría escribir algo en español pero hasta ahora no lo he hecho. Es tan fácil hablar de temas en inglés porque sé muchas más palabras especiales en esa lengua pero ahora que tengo los estudios básicos de español en la universidad, creo que ya es hora de que empiezo a practicar lo mismo en esta lengua también.

Estoy en mi apartamento, acabo de terminar algunos ejercisios para la próxima clase de grámatica y nieva afuera. Estoy escuchando a canciones de Navidad pero lo he hecho desde Octubre así que no estoy haciendo nada excepcional. No íba al clase esta mañana porque tenía que lavar mi pelo (yo sé, no es un pretexto myu bueno) pero he tenido una semana loca y necesitaba un momento para mí mismo. No sé como es posible que tengo tantos deberes esperando que los hago y no queda ni tres semanas antes de las vacaciones de Navidad. Voy a ser muy estresada cuando sea el tiempo de ir a casa pero afortunadamente tengo casi un mes para relajarme. 

Porque tarda tanto tiempo producir un texto en español, ya no puedo continuar esbribiendo esto porque tengo que ir a una clase de inglés. Trato de escribir algo más sensible el próximo vez, lo prometo.

Something is wrong with our society

I know Finnish people can be a bit reserved at times, but friendliness should be more than acceptable alternative to cold, polite(?) ignorance. I just came into my building after a walk with a friend, in a good mood after very nice conversations. Then a family, who I've bumped into a few times before, stepped in the elevator with me. They said vaguely hi, which I answered in a much nicer manner. Then their kid said something cute and I made a nice, friendly comment to them all. That comment of mine lead to a complete silence in the elevator, which made the rest of the journey very uncomfortable even for the very brief moment it lasted. Not a smile, not even a glance to my direction. Nothing. 

I am kind of pissed at the moment, since I thought we were better than that. I get that I do not know them and maybe the kids were a little intimidated by a stranger saying something to them but come on, when did it become a social norm in our society that friendliness among neighbors is basically work of the devil? Did it occur to the kids' dad that by behaving like there's nobody else in the elevator since I am basically a stranger (and I am not even a total stranger, I've met them several times before) teaches his kids that it's better to ignore other human beings than to be friendly. No wonder why the issue of social exclusion is so common since these people live in a vicious circle of behavior that will make it inevitable. 

A smile, a greeting, even bad Finnish small talk about the weather would be nice sometimes. I have had occasional bus stop conversations with very nice people, which has always made me feel a little better since communication with other human beings tends to do that and even though a chat with an old drunkie in Pasila is not what I am specifically referring to, at least they were very friendly. I even got a smile.

Damn it, people, get your shit together and be nice to one another. That's all I'm asking. 

Always to be remembered

What if I fall? 

Oh, but my darling, 

what if you fly?