In tune

I am not much of a singer. I like to sing, but especially my sisters don't like to listen to it. Anyway, I really wish I would be good at it since I like to believe I'd be good at singing with emotion. There are songs that make me feel the lyrics so deeply that I want to give my whole heart to it by singing, but when I open my mouth, the atmosphere kind of evaporates. I admire singers who can make me feel something by using only their voices, for example this special girl who sings probably more beautifully than anyone else.
Besides, I've always wanted to play piano like that but I quit the lessons after 4 or 5 years in primary school and I've never reached even near that level. Too bad for me, good for her that she apparently didn't.

 

Life is a melody

I want to share this song with everyone who ever felt like they belonged somewhere. Not necessarily on the bottom like she sings in the song, but anywhere among people. I do feel like that sometimes and then sometimes I feel like I don't fit in or belong anywhere. That's why this song is so amazing: it gives you hope and strength to believe there's a place for you.

I also need to post another song. It is just simply great, no other words. Beautiful.

Back to school... no, I'll sleep instead

Exactly, it is the time of the year when everyone from primary school to high school start the never-ending work of essays, lessons, exams and tiredness. University students still have a while longer to do nothing, but since I don't belong to either of these groups, I might as well just stay at home. I probably have to do something, but well... basically nothing. 

I haven't given up, though. Yes, I am currently unemployed and unaware of my entire life situation and future but on Monday I'll continue what I've started: job hunt. So far I've sent about 25 applications, tomorrow 10 lucky places will get a phone call from me. Please, someone, take me to work for you. I am begging. 

We were born to die, though I'd like to think I am supposed to do something meaningful before that. 

 

So real but yet so unreal

What is it with some tv-series that make us keep watching them episode after episode, restless while not being able to see what happens next and basically living our own emotional life through what the characters are feeling and doing? I have no idea, but yet again, I'm hooked. This time it is How I met your mother and I gotta say, it is simply awesome. I recommend it for everyone, but if you don't want to spend your days repeating an " I'll just watch one episode "-routine "since they are only 20 minutes long so I can watch another one". Yeah, that works until you realise you've seen half a season in a day. I know that isn't that much after all, but if you do it everyday? Seriously, we're talking about an addiction here. But the thing is: there is no rehab for it. The only thing that helps with the craving for a new episode, is watching a new episode. And another after it since some turning point is bound to happen just when you decided to watch only one. 

Like it is not enough that the shows lure us into countless hours of staring at the screen, they refuse to let go of us by a simple trick: yet another season of the beloved series, 'cause of course we are not ready to let go of the fantasy world we've learned to care so much about. It is impossible to finish with season 5 if you know there is a season 6 that reveals more and more twists in the plot and maybe someone gets married or breaks up or gets superpowers or dies so there is no choice than to follow it through. It is insane what kind of emotional bonds we form with the characters and how we experience real (or not so real, I've never quite decided if they are real or fake) emotions when they experience them. It is like we live inside the world they live in and follow the story as some super creepy invisible guy in the corner all the time. Only when an important person leaves the show, for example by dying a really unrealistic death (or just a very unwanted death, not referring to O.C at all, no...Neither Grey's Anatomy), we realise that this really is just imagination written by some awesome person who gave us the meaning of life for a while.

So what I am trying to say here, is that I think that there should be a warning before the episodes start; "might lead to an addiction". Just to be fair, so nobody gets surprised when they cry over a break-up that didn't even happen in the reality. Or find themselves using the best lines in a random conversation. But I honestly love watching series, I am exactly the kind of fool who loves to talk about the plot and the characters with the other fools. So, I'd better finish this now and reward myself, after writing such an incredible text once again, with an episode of How I met your mother.

 



 

Down the memory lane, crossroads to the future came halfway

Today I had a refreshing visit to a place where I used to work as a volunteer a few summers ago. I really love that place, it is a perfect Finnish countryside summer paradise with wooden buildings, lots of space and a lake with a sauna of course. I worked there with kids, arranged them program and gave their parents a little rest from their screaming and fighting. I didn't mind doing it almost for free, though, 'cause somehow even that was relaxing. The place almost feels like home, since the owners treat my like a beloved child. Ever since I stopped working there and have gone for a visit, I get the welcome of the lost sheep which is really nice. Makes some other volunteers a little jealous maybe, but it is not my fault I am so awesome, is it? 

What was really the best thing about this visit, was meeting one other volunteer worker who I haven't seen in two years now. I have always got along with her really well and to her I could talk to honestly and we had similar thoughts and attitudes about working and life etc. One of the greatest people I know! Anyway, it was so weird going back there today. I started working there when I was 13, 5(!!!) years ago and my last time there as a worker was when I was 15. Just a kid... It felt so weird to drive to the yard in a car. I have had responsible tasks there since so young, but well I wasn't some stupid teenager even when I worked there as a 13-year-old, as a worker I have always been quite mature and adult-like (at least so I've been told). Anyway, that place has been such a huge part of my summers growing up and it has taught me so much that I am really sad that the owners will retire this year.

The most frequently asked questions during my brief visit were about my current place of residence and my future plans. Well, it was kind of funny when the owner was like "oh, you didn't go to medical school... too bad!" (just for your information, I have never intended on going there, it was some idea she had since she thought I have the capability of doing something great). I realised I am taking it so much more lightly now, the fact that I didn't get in any university, I mean. Today also made me face the thought I have been hiding in my brain for a while now: did I try to apply for a subject that is right for me? I mean, I know it would be good since I like that kind of stuff, but would that give me the future I want? I have no idea, so that is why I promised myself to keep all the options open from now on. If I get an irresistible offer to be an apprentice to learn to make ice sculptures in the North Pole, damn, I will take it. Okay a little exaggeration, but you got my point. Maybe. I could like studying to be a occupational therapist, for example. That is something I have had in mind for a few years now. But we'll see where this year of experiences leads me.

Here's a song that always motivates me to keep going when I feel like giving up, and that just makes me feel good whenever I am thinking about the future.