Bruised, sore and tired. However, proud and happy. That is basically what the result of a training weekend is. Four trainings in two days isn't even that much, especially since they were only one hour long this time, but if you give it all you've got, you'll feel it in your body.
I learned some new techniques, which was nice. But what was even nicer, was just getting my heartbeat up and really using my muscles. I guess I sweated more during these past two days than in a whole month. It is somehow really releaving, though, to train so hard that you look like you came from under shower, 'cause you know you've made an effort. Your mind has taken over the control instead of the body and you are able to push through the ache and the exhaustion.
I am also really proud of myself. I kicked the pads harder than I ever have before. It is amazing how you just find some burning inner strength and push yourself to even more powerful and stronger performances. One thing I've noticedso far in this sport is that when it's about power, you do it better when your muscles are a little tired already. You automatically drop the wrong ways of doing it to save energy and end up doing it right which also leads to strength. You can hit as hard as your arms allow, but unless you twist your body, you won'treach full power. Besides, the feeling of power isn't only in your arms and legs, it goes into your mind as well. The feeling after the final training was something that is very hard to describe properly. Kind of happy exhaustion, feeling like you got hit by a train but still you're a winner. I also felt a little sad, since I am moving to another city in the fall for university and I don't know if I can continue with kickboxing. So, maybe it was my last training camp weekend, but we'll see. One thing I know for sure, though: I am so happy that I started doing this a bit over 1,5 years ago. I found a sport that suits for me, that I am relatively good at and I really like doing it. It is something that is completely my own, 'cause none of my friends or family members do it. I always get the amazed look when proudly announcing my hobby while talking to relatives and that makes me feel a little special. I did (and still do) something unexpected and different.
I want to say a huge thank you to my pair in those four trainings! Thanks to her I could test my limits once again and have a few laughters as well.
Somehow I managed to watch two movies today. Oops. To my defence, I did study as well so I wasn't completely slacking all day long. However, today I felt kind of lazy so staring at the screen and immersing myself in a good story from someone else's life was a perfect thing to do. Since I spent quite a big part of my day to that, I started to wonder: what is it in movies that we love so much? I know not everyone does but I do, definitely.
I can watch a movie in almost any kind of mood. Sad, happy, tired, a movie is always a nice choice of spending my free time. Of course, my mood affects the choice of movie. When I am feeling energetic and excited, I might watch some action movie. If I just want to relax, it is usually a romantic drama or a romantic comedy. Those are my absolute favorites. Horror isn't really my thing, it is too scary for me. I guess I am a romanticist, 'cause there's nothing better than a happy ending for a couple just before the credits.
For me a movie is a short break from my life. If I have any worries or problems, I can just put them aside for an hour or two and concentrate on someone else's life. It is comforting to see how characters deal with the same issues as I do. A little peer support is always good. The best part when it comes to that is that they solve the problems, which can help me get a perspective to my issues.
Another thing is the opportunity to feel strong emotions when there isn't so much happening in your own life. I am the kind of movie watcher who lives every second of it with the characters and try (intentionally or unintentionally) to find someone to identify with. I cry if something really sad (or even a little bit sad...) or extremely happy happens. It makes me feel some kind of borrowed happiness to see the characters happy. I know it is all pretending, acting, but hey, they do a good job when the audience believes the story to be as believable as real life. Also, the creativity of the screenwriters sometimes really strikes me and I might notice I'm thinking some sentence for days after seeing the movie. Even though there are many clichés in them, occasionally you can find a life philosophy worth following or at least pursuing.
A good story and believable people are almost enough to create a perfect moment, but there's one more thing I really love and that is music. Music makes the feelings so much stronger, the events much more meaningful and creates the right kind of mood for every scene. If a song is simply perfect for the moment, it alone can make me cry. If a movie leaves me with a state of mind filled with overwhelming emotions and thoughts, it has done its job perfectly, without a doubt. The best-casescenerio is that the film manages to shake my world a little bit. It touches deeply and that is the answer to my question in the beginning. Movies are more than pastime, they are experiences of the mind.
Here's a movie soundtrack song from a movie that made me cry probably more than any other movie ever in my entire life. No kidding, I have a witness.
I just learned something that is actually pretty obvious, you just never really see it that way until you realise it. Haven't you ever wondered why you always skip doing stuff? For example, people, especially friends who aren't extremely close, always say like "we should hang out sometime", but how often does that lead to actually spending time together? The answer is implementation intention. Kind of a word-monster, especially since my native language is Finnish and while studying for entrance exams I read dozens of similar, complex-sounding scientific English terms. I'm not going to explain the theories I read since I just read them once and probably don't master them so well that I should teach them to anyone. But this one is so practical that I think I couldn't get it wrong.
This particular example I just told to my friend when she was telling me how she just can't make herself study for the entrance exams as much as she maybe should. It is easy to recognise the goal: I need to study for the exam. However, executing that intention happens much more easily when you officially make the decision. Instead of thinking "I should study" you should think "I will study tomorrow morning after breakfast for an hour" and that way it is much more probable that you actually do it. Simple, isn't it? The way I see it, this explains a lot of my laziness. I could have been far more productive had I known I can make myself do things by making accurate decisions. Though, at times the decision of not making the decision hasn't been completely subconscious...
Executing an intention requires more than capability to do it. It is not enough if you know you can do it, you need to want it or try it. Based on what I read, these two together (capability and trying) are the key to turning the intention into action. Neither alone will be sufficient, you can want to do something so badly but the cruel truth is that if you don't know how to speak Spanish, it is impossible to read Don Quijote in Spanish no matter how much you want to. (The example stolen directly from the book, I don't own the rights to this creative thought.)
So, to sum up this mini-lecture of social psychology, you, my friend, are the key to success. The title of this post is where it all starts. You will never hang out with that friend unless you make a plan. Or, you might, if it should happen that you both end up stuck in an elevator at the same time and are forced to spend time together, which isn't so probable. I don't really know if this helps anyone at all, but for me it was an eye-opener to realise how much power can one decison have.
Since I spend my time preparing for the future university studies and becoming an adult, here's a song to balance it a little bit.
Today I went to sophisticate myself to a themeday about starting your own business. I actually had a real reason and a goal with it as well, but mostly my attitude was to go and learn something that might turn out to be useful at some point of my life. And I walked away after 6 hours of listening being a lot wiser about this kind of stuff. I kind of dozed off at social studies lessons at high school, oops... but now I got a lot of knowledge about entrepreneurship and the practical side of starting and running a business. That isn't really my thing otherwise (or is it? maybe it could be), so I was anticipating great boredom. Luckily, I was wrong. I wouldn't have survived without two coffee breaks, though...
Before I went, I had a problem. I had this image where all the other participants were a lot older and wiser and were very seriously starting companies and I would look like a stupid little girl who got lost and ended up to that lecture. Well, my solution to the problem was to make a very adult-like hairdo. Hmm, maybe I won a few years in everyone's eyes. In addition, my notebook was from the University of Eastern Finland, so maybe people thought I study there. In reality, I just got it from a friend. Somehow I have a feeling my focus wasn't really where it should have been, was it?
Well, it turned out all my worries were for nothing. I didn't stand out so much, I didn't really talk to anyone and I wasn't looked weirdly at though I was clearly the youngest. And the whole event was really interesting and funny, even, thanks to the hilarious examples of the educator. I might not become an entrepreneur anytime soon, but at least I know what kind of processes I would have to go through. Besides, I have plenty of time to do whatever I want with my life.
That is the kind of knowledge I am happy to have. General, useful information about society which can also help me in my studies and career later. I have applied to study social sciences and social psychology so I might listen to a few other lectures kind of similar to this one in the future. I am sometimes a little ashamed 'cause I don't really have time (read: lazy) to watch or read the news or follow politics. Once I got into a conversation when I was abroad where I was asked about the economic and the political situation in Finland. It was a little embarrassing to have to admit that I don't really know anything, but luckily my friend saved me. One of the main reasons for my choice of studies is that I want a general and applicable education that gives me the advantage of choosing a job from various fields. Also, I just don't like so many other subjects or I don't see them as a possible career.
Allright, after all this serious and ambitious talk the best song I could think of was this one. It is capable of motivating and giving so much strength and energy that after listening to it I always feel like I can touch the stars if I just simply want to.
Graduation day approaching, plans being made, cakes being tested.... and a dress still to find?! Every girl's nightmare. This one is too long, this one is too short, this one is too expensive, this one has the wrong color... trust me, I've had all of that. Now my eyes hurt for going through thousands of dresses online, with no other choice than to start liking some of them 'cause time is running out.
Yes, I am the kind of girl who likes to dress up nicely for an occasion and use jewellery and high heels. But finding a perfect dress, well, it's excruciating. I have noticed that any standard size doesn't really fit me so the dress needs to be exactly the right shape. Well, at least I am not like everybody else, a little unique. That is one of my goals for the graduation: I want to be unique. Nobody can have a similar dress. Please.
I am also a practical person so I wouldn't buy a dress I can't breathe in or that is made of the kind of material that would break right after the first time wearing it. Also, enough is enough so showing a little bit of leg requires something more covering in the upper part. Just for your information guys, shopping for a dress isn't as simple as you'd think.
After the tormenting hunt for a dress, another problem appears: shoes. My feet are not only small but alsodifferent size. So try to find shoes that look good with the dress, are comfortable enough to walk the whole day in, not too high but not too flat and won't fall out of my feet. But, when you put the right pair on, the feeling is invincible. You feel confident, sexy, notable.
This post has been a nightmare to read for any guys who might read this, but girls, I am pretty sure we're on the same page. To end this I give you some music once again, Finnish this time. The title means "the queen of the streets" and I like it a lot. Good night!
I like being young. I have never really given so much thought to what it will be like when I get old, but now I can't help but wonder that. My other entrance exam material consists of six articles regarding social sciences and the one I read today was about ageismor in other words discrimination based on age. Every single word and sentence of that 30-page article was there for a reason and mostly it concentrated on senior citizens.
Age is just a number, people say. You reach opportunities, you gain responsibilities with it. But when enough time passes from the moment you take your first breath, it becomes a burden. What especially makes me want to change the world is the fact how many lonely senior citizens there are. Especially those who live the fourth age, time after those golden years of just being retired and travelling the world and being active, get my sympathy. Being dependent on other people, strangers, who visit you only because they are doing their job, sounds a little scary. What is even more scary is forgetting. Dementia takes away who you are, what you know and what you can do.
Many old people would have so much to give us. They have wisdom that can be gained only from life experiences and therefore they could give crucial notes to decision-making. They have done their part in society so we should give them the respect and support they need. I know it is not always the case; sometimes the story of one's life has too many bumps on the road and that person ends up being bitter and incapable of healthy life physically or mentally. Even in this situation we can't ignore them.
I want to live a long life.I want to grow old and be happy about the way I lived and to be able to enjoy my life until its very end. Therefore I want to use every chance I get to help someone else have that as well. I honestly think I could work with improving the status of senior citizens in society, which is definitely a sign that I am applying for the right education for me. I want to make a difference and in this matter I found one channel to do it.
Once again a song for you, not really related to my thoughts but the sentence "and though you're dead and gone, believe me, your memory will carry on" is something I would want every single person on this planet to leave behind.
It has been almost a week since I came back from London and I realised I haven't written anything about it yet, so let me correct my mistake now. That city was wonderful, so full of life and interesting things to see! I guess my godmother and I walked like 10 kilometers a day, but it was definitely worth it. We had a little bit of bad luck though, since it was probably colder there than in Finland...add strong wind and sleet and freezing is guaranteed, especially being prepared for at least +10 degrees.
We saw almost all of the best-known sights and visited museums, shops, restaurants, cafes etc. One of the highlights of the trip was without a doubt Mamma Mia- musical at Novello theatre, thank you to the amazingly talented and charming people who made the experience unforgettable!
And I cannot talk about London without mentioning the most confusing aspect: traffic. I don't know why they want to drive on the wrong side of the car and the road, but thank god they write to streets which way you are supposed to look. I honestly think there would have been many moments where an accident had been close without them. What kind of surprised me, besides the traffic, was the various flow of people everywhere. I mean that there were so many cultures, languages and nationalities living and functioning in harmony side by side. In my opinion it is a richness, since it makes the cityscape so much more lively and intriguing. Thanks also to the wonderful person at a little restaurant somewhere in the centre, who started a conversation with strangers and gave us many laughters and new thoughts!
I decided I won't upload tourist pictures here because if someone is curious to see what it looks like in London, they can just google it. I will show you one picture that I like a lot, though. It is taken at Harrods, which was a really cool place, but what I will remember the best is this huge teddy bear that is actually taller than me. That would be nice to get at Christmas, wouldn't it? It could give a feeling of safety, at least. I warmly recommend visiting London for anyone and I will definitely go back someday!
Recently I have experienced the difficulty of producing words to spit out to match what is going on in your head. I know I talk a lot, but a lot of it is just superficial chitchat, the producing of which doesn't really require much brain activity. It is easy to talk about nonsense or everyday stuff but when you need to face the simple truth aka what you really think and feel, it gets tough.
The easiest thing is to answer a direct question. That way you can catch a single piece of information from the never-ending flow of thoughts and it is easier to turn it to a sensible explanation. But when you're asked to open your mouth and let it out, the complexity of forming a smooth and understandable piece of a story can turn out to be surprisingly agonising. You can't untie a knot unless you know where the end is, nor can you solve a puzzle if there are pieces missing.
You'd think you know what you think. There is nothing more confusing than mixed feelings and thoughts that you are supposed to put in words. There are too many different coloured threads and too many ends so that you don't know where to pull. All I am trying to say that I can't always figure out the mess inside my head and be sure of what I want. In that case, expressing yourself is extremely challenging. There is always so subtle a line between the feeling inside and the meaning of something verbal and therefore crossing that line gives a wrong impression. Trying to avoid that and to speak directly from the heart as honestly as possible sometimes leads to stuttering, half-finished sentences that seem just wrong in the situation and thinking breaks. Tolerating it takes a lot of patience from the conversation partner, I know.
I am trying my best every single time to face my reality both inside and outside. For many people, including me, it is not only yourself that determines how big a mess and a contradiction your thoughts can form with your feelings. The circumstances, other people, facts, life situation and hopes pull you to all kinds of directions and somehow you are just supposed to choose a path to go. Whether it is the right one or not, you can't know until you know. One thing I am sure of, though; I do not want to make hasty desicions. I want to take my time to clear my way through the jungle of thoughts and when it is clear enough to walk, make desicions based on what I've learned along the way.
Here's a good Finnish song, the title of which is true in everyone's life every now and then. But a mess is a good thing because after cleaning it up you can see much more clearly.
