Here I go again

I can't believe it, finally things are starting to go the way I have wished for so long. I just found out I got an apartment from the city center and I am so thrilled I cannot probably sleep tonight. It is incredibly close to everything, especially the very center, the university and my friends! First finding the perfect little black dress and now this, it's been a lucky few days!

I will have a decrease in rent to be paid and an increase in the number or roommates and definitely in quality of life! Everything is turning out perfectly.

I am so excited that it's ridiculous.

 

Little black dress

The excruciating hunt is finally over. I found it. The perfect little black dress. 

Never have I felt this classy before, The Dress hanging in my closet, trying on red lipstick and doing my hair up on a chic braided bun, low on the back of my neck.

Perfection. Elegance. Christmas.

 

My faith in humanity has been restored

I came home, went to the elevator and my neighbor, who I've barely ever seen even by a glimpse, was sitting on the floor and changing winter tires to a yellow bike-thingy where you have a sidecar in front of it for kids. He greeted me with a big smile (and not only because what he was doing looked a bit ridiculous), and after I had pushed the elevator button, we talked about putting up Christmas lights. He told me he'd put Christmas lights to the bike as well. It was so nice.

Allright, society. Maybe there's more to you than I gave you credit for. 

Algo diferente

Tantas veces he pensado que podría escribir algo en español pero hasta ahora no lo he hecho. Es tan fácil hablar de temas en inglés porque sé muchas más palabras especiales en esa lengua pero ahora que tengo los estudios básicos de español en la universidad, creo que ya es hora de que empiezo a practicar lo mismo en esta lengua también.

Estoy en mi apartamento, acabo de terminar algunos ejercisios para la próxima clase de grámatica y nieva afuera. Estoy escuchando a canciones de Navidad pero lo he hecho desde Octubre así que no estoy haciendo nada excepcional. No íba al clase esta mañana porque tenía que lavar mi pelo (yo sé, no es un pretexto myu bueno) pero he tenido una semana loca y necesitaba un momento para mí mismo. No sé como es posible que tengo tantos deberes esperando que los hago y no queda ni tres semanas antes de las vacaciones de Navidad. Voy a ser muy estresada cuando sea el tiempo de ir a casa pero afortunadamente tengo casi un mes para relajarme. 

Porque tarda tanto tiempo producir un texto en español, ya no puedo continuar esbribiendo esto porque tengo que ir a una clase de inglés. Trato de escribir algo más sensible el próximo vez, lo prometo.

Something is wrong with our society

I know Finnish people can be a bit reserved at times, but friendliness should be more than acceptable alternative to cold, polite(?) ignorance. I just came into my building after a walk with a friend, in a good mood after very nice conversations. Then a family, who I've bumped into a few times before, stepped in the elevator with me. They said vaguely hi, which I answered in a much nicer manner. Then their kid said something cute and I made a nice, friendly comment to them all. That comment of mine lead to a complete silence in the elevator, which made the rest of the journey very uncomfortable even for the very brief moment it lasted. Not a smile, not even a glance to my direction. Nothing. 

I am kind of pissed at the moment, since I thought we were better than that. I get that I do not know them and maybe the kids were a little intimidated by a stranger saying something to them but come on, when did it become a social norm in our society that friendliness among neighbors is basically work of the devil? Did it occur to the kids' dad that by behaving like there's nobody else in the elevator since I am basically a stranger (and I am not even a total stranger, I've met them several times before) teaches his kids that it's better to ignore other human beings than to be friendly. No wonder why the issue of social exclusion is so common since these people live in a vicious circle of behavior that will make it inevitable. 

A smile, a greeting, even bad Finnish small talk about the weather would be nice sometimes. I have had occasional bus stop conversations with very nice people, which has always made me feel a little better since communication with other human beings tends to do that and even though a chat with an old drunkie in Pasila is not what I am specifically referring to, at least they were very friendly. I even got a smile.

Damn it, people, get your shit together and be nice to one another. That's all I'm asking. 

Always to be remembered

What if I fall? 

Oh, but my darling, 

what if you fly?

Trying to be real for once

Somehow I've felt like I need some extra motivation this week for generally just making it, although my week is socially very active and interesting. A little fall depression, maybe? That is why I was looking through some quotes about motivation and this one struck me very strongly. I think I finally scratched the surface of the problem I'm struggling with today while I was having an excellent conversation with my friend (thanks darlin'!), which is my inability to face reality truthfully with all the expectations from the past and for the future. I find it hard to accept that I have to accept my reality and enjoy it with my eyes wide open, not in the fantasy world where everything works out juts like I imagined, even if the expectations will turn out completely different or won't come true at all. 

“Face reality as it is, not as it was or as you wish it to be.”

No time is ever good enough

Waking up this morning to see the white ground and snowflakes silently falling down, the atmosphere of waiting for Christmas was so tangible in the air. Add a few Christmas songs to the scene and it was exactly what these two months before the big celebration are about - waiting. But why do we get the excitement always from waiting for things to happen?

When something really fascinating happens, of course we find joy and excitement in that moment, I'm not saying I don't enjoy reality. However, it seems like in very many parts of life we are constantly waiting for something. I am a living proof of that, my older posts are very strongly about waiting for my own, independent life to start but now that it has started, do I enjoy it to the fullest or do I keep waiting for the next big step? It is the same with Christmas; we get tuned to the atmosphere for two months for what, a few days? It is indeed worth waiting for but somehow it still feels like we might lose something while we have our minds set on that certain event in the future.

In the spring kids wait for their summer vacation, in August they wait for school to start again. We wait for a reply to a text from a special person so eagerly we cannot concentrate on anything else. We wait for the next day only to wish it'd be already over. Constantly waiting for something is a much bigger part of our lives than we'd think and the question is whether we only live through something to wait for. Living in the moment is extremely hard, especially when the moment you have now does not have the certain feeling, atmosphere, event or person you want the most.

It's beginning to feel a lot like Christmas...

My friends and I started to listen to Christmas songs about two weeks ago. Nothing can compare with a dark, cold evening, a cup of tea and Michael Bublé on the background. I cannot wait to get home, dig up a book full of Christmas songs and start playing them on piano. I think I will have to bring it here with me, I've played those songs every year since October and now that I can't it feels very odd.

Besides waiting for snow and Christmas, I'm super excited about our subject's student association's Christmas party that I am organizing with a classmate. It will happen on 2nd of December and we will make it perfect; we are planning on creating the perfect Christmas atmosphere with lights and candles and elegance and ahh, simply perfection. It's going to be a black and white party, so every single guy will look handsome in suits and every single girl will be beautiful, which is a nice change after all these costume parties we've had so far.

Although I know planning a party with this precision is going to be a lot of work, especially since we are really thinking through every tiny detail but I am happy I've got something to be this excited about. Besides, if the event is a success, I will be so proud of us two. Especially since previous years these Christmas parties have not turned out so well. This year it's gonna be mind-blowingly perfect. Maybe I'm building this up a bit too much, but who cares. I can't wait!

Mentioned Christmas now seven times in this short text, which is very solid a proof of my current state of mind.