Finally. I have suffered my punishment of not being able to plan my future so now I get back on it with more enthusiasm than ever. Apartment searching online, filling forms to verify that I'll be attending in January, trying to figure out the student allowance systems... It is kind of annoying actually, as a process, to do those things but the reason why I can do it is good enough a reason to even enjoy it. It feels incredible that for months I've been staring blankly in my future which didn't seem to include anything but now I have everything to expect. And that everything will start in two months! My studies start with orientation days from 16th to 17th of January and on 20th I'll become a full-time student once again.
I found out about this already on Friday but I needed a while to completely realise that I am going, especially since I've been distracted with other stuff. It was such a relief to find out that I got in. I was really nervous about it, I knew the day when the results would come and I was dreading the moment when I'd see a letter in a mailbox or go to the website to read the list of the accepted students. I am glad that my friend texted me in the morning saying congratulations on getting in, saving me from the nerve-wracking part.
I can't wait to find an apartment. Well, since I am moving to the capital where the rents are insane, I'll most likely get a shared apartment, we call it "a cell apartment" where there usually are about 2-4 people living there, each person has their own bedroom and the kitchen, the living room and the bathroom are shared. Not so nice, since you never know what kind of people you end up living with but that's just student life. Speaking of which, I can't wait to make new friends and to start learning French and to personally experience that famous student life. I guess I am out of practise with partying but on the other hand I've been saving my powers for the student parties, right? Oh and yeah, for studying of course.
So next up would be probably a trip to IKEA to find plates and glasses etc. cheap enough that it wouldn't matter if crazy and careless roommates smashed them. Also, I was a little too excited at the end of the summer when I packed all my kitchen stuff into boxes believing I'd be moving away and starting working. Now that I'll have only a few square meters to use I have to unpack it all and take only those things that won't break so easily and are really needed. Sounds maybe boring but I actually can't wait 'cause my inner organizer is so excited about it. This song isn't at all related to the theme but I just like it so much that I want to share it.
Again, it's been a while. However, this time I make my comeback having conquered some new territory. I have been substituing teachers in my former primary school and junior high and I am so excited to have gained these new experiences. The best way to desrcribe the job of a substitute is challenging, yet rewarding.
Yesterday was my very first day as a teacher, the very first time in a loooong time that I had to get up and go to work and though I needed coffee really badly so early in the morning, it was very refreshing to actually do something for a change. The tricky thing with substituing teachers is that you don't really have that much time to prepare. Yeah I knew about it a few days before, but I didn't get the instructions until in the morning. And well, luckily I adapt pretty easily since though I had been informed about the arts and handicraft lessons, I had a nice surprise of having to be a math teacher for one lesson. When I read it on the board for the first time, all I thought was "oh shit!" But as it turned out, it was a piece of cake. It was so much easier now than when I was a 9th-grader... Now I thank god that I chose advanced math in high school. They always said I'd need it in life and now I am happy about those countless hours calculating and calculating. The challenging part also included being unfamiliar to the students and what they are like. I am really glad I have had to boss people around in the past, since that was pretty much what I did on those more artistic lessons.
Today and tomorrow I am at primary school teaching the second grade. And I love it! Yeah there is noise around me all the time and kids won't shut up or stay still but what makes a difference is that in their eyes they still have the sparkle of enjoying carefree life. And they liked me, I even got a few pictures saying I am the best teacher ever. Funny that high school seems to be enough of an education for the kids but all the employees I have contacted this fall don't always agree... It is also nicer to have the same class the whole day so I get to know the kids better. It felt like I was a real teacher! I even got to use my skills in playing the piano since we started practising a Christmas song performance. I have always had the job of a teacher in the back of my mind but I haven't had a realization of wanting to start studying it yet. I can't deny that it sounds nice when a kid calls me the teacher, though. And really, nothing compares to the feeling when you explain something to a child or a youngster and they have that moment of understanding.
I listen to a lot of music in YouTube. At times I follow the video or the lyrics, but sometimes I just scroll down the page and read some of the comments people have left. I guess my taste in music has a direct connection to the kind of comments left there but it could also be because of the common age group that take the time to write a comment. I have observed the commenting patterns for a while now and here I give you a summary of what I've noticed.
This is purely based on my experiences and focuses mainly on popular pop songs that usually tell about love. Yeah, that describes probably every other hit song in the history of music. No, I haven't listened to all of them. The easiest to recognise are these four following groups. Not all of them can be seen in every video, they are just something I have gathered along the way.
First, not as common but still qualified as a group of mine, are the foreign commenters. They might have some grammar mistakes in their comments and they usually praise the song itself. These are not annoying or disturbing, they don't get disliked but they don't start a conversation either. They are cute and honest and they often mention the country that the writer is from.
The next group is the type of comment that can usually be found in very emotional songs, most likely when the subject is breaking up, loosing someone or missing someone. It describes a real-life lovestory and how badly it ended and how much it hurts. Written by both girls and boys, usually they point out the direct connection between some part of the lyrics and their own story. Almost every other of them expresses the desire to get back together with the loved one and nearly each of them is extremely desperate. I get that it can do good to write about your problems, but seriously guys, is the comment section of a YouTube video the best place to heal your broken soul? I am just asking. Creates a certain peer group for those who love the song, not necessarily irritating, sometimes even touching.
The third type is definitely annoying. These people take minutes of their precious time and type a comment, their sole purpose to whine about the quality of the video/ the quality of the sound/ the spelling mistakes in the lyrics. If it really bothers you so much, why can't you click on another video of the same song and move on with your life? These complaints gain answers from the person who uploaded the video apologising for it, which is like speaking to a deaf person apparently since people just keep complaining and finally, the video itself has a million of those annoying comments that pop up and where the maker verbally screams at people to shut up 'cause there's nothing they can do about the mistakes anymore. If it isn't good enough for you, make your own videos, damn it. The last type is just ridiculous but purely caused by the previous comment group. These comments complain about others' complaints. Do I really need to say more? If there's one comment that says for example: "The quality sucks, so does the tv-show the soudtrack of which this is, I am here for the song only", the following comments most likely are: "I am sorry for the quality" from the one who made it, followed by a minimum of ten comments like this: "How dare you say this show is bad?? It is my life, my everything and I love it with all my heart:" Right.
I am not trying to make fun of people who like commenting on YouTube videos or undermine the meaning of what matters to other people. A little sanity would be nice, though, and a common sense of what is appropriate to write and where.
I chose to link this song now simply because it is beautiful. I have to add to my theme that very often reading the comments ruins the mood you get from the song, so I'd advice everyone to read them at their own risk.
I could watch a movie. After 5 minutes I turned it off. I could go for a walk. Or not. I should look for a job. Nobody works on weekends, so neither will I. I'm hungry. I'll eat later. I want to do something fun. I ended up lying on the sofa. Somehow today's theme has been "I could, but I won't bother". Okay, fine. That is a pretty common theme nowadays.
Lately I have been watching the tv-series called Revenge. I just want to say that it is incredible. There are so many things that make you addicted to watching it. The plot has a new twist around every corner and the characters are really intriguing. A lot of free time and two complete seasons you can't stop watching sounds good, though I actually spent a little too much time watching them, since it didn't take long at all. Well, what's done is done and now I caught the American speed so I don't have the luxury of deciding to watch it whenever I want. Instead, I have to wait for a week for a new episode. Boring. Anyway, one reason that makes the series so good is that the main point in it is different from other series. The main character Emily has dedicated her entire life to revenging her father's death which for me is almost incomprehensible but at the same time makes perfectly sense. I have never been wronged in a way that would have left me a need to really get back at someone. Yeah, I've been hurt and angry at people. The truth is, though, that I am not a person who gets angry often. Annoyed, yes, and often. But I can't even imagine being so angry at someone that I'd want to destory them or make them suffer the way I did. I am simply too compassionate a person to want any harm to others. There have been times when it has crossed my mind, but the thought of hurting someone, even though they've hurt me, is just something I can't take. There's only one exception to that, and it is sparring in kickboxing trainings. Trust me, when someone throws a punch straight in your face, you go for blood. But in case I hit my target, I apologise, which proves my point. I don't see the point of making yourself feel better by causing that pain to someone else. Hitting another person doesn't heal my bruise, insulting somebody else doesn't take away the insult I had to take. I can't take pleasure in imagining a hurtful payback, instead, I feel their pain as well. There have been times when I have wanted not to feel like it and let the other one suffer. Due to my intolerance of guilt I forgive easily, but only if I know or hear that the other one is really feeling remorse over what they did or said. Forgetting is easier that forgiving.
Kuopio, Finland this afternoon. Even though I was there and took this picture and I see this everytime I have a look out of the window, I still can't quite believe that it really looks like that out there. Especially when there's something so wrong in the feeling you get when you go out. From inside the house my first thoughts are like yay, Christmas is coming! But once I am outside, the atmosphere is totally changed and it almost feels like Easter is around the corner. That's when you realise what time of the year it actually is and how it doesn't feel like it at all.
However white or black the nature is, I had a disturbing realization. It is in fact over the middle of October and I have no idea where all the time went. I feel like the time is moving so fast but I am not moving with it. I do have moments when I catch up and ride the first wave of the present. But there are times when I get lost in doing nothing, robotically repeating the only ways I can think of to function at all in this episode of my life. The episode where I am waiting with unanswered questions, plans that aren't put into action yet, activities that I want but can't have. I am frustrated.
I know I could and I should and I can but all that takes effort and I sometimes struggle with seeing the point in making it. I know that being active is the only way to stay active, but I keep losing the balance. Nevertheless, getting stuck to one thing is always being stuck until you make a decision to change it. But the thing with decisions is that they're nothing until you make a decision to start executing it.
Yeah, I get the point of drive-in fast food restaurants. It makes sense, you are in a hurry or don't want to waste time while you're traveling, so it is simple and easy to queue without leaving your car to be free to continue the journey immediately. Good food, better mood. Done that, proved it is efficient. Well, on Wednesday I saw something I had never seen before and it made me wonder how far are we willing to go to ease our daily activities. It was a drive-in pharmacy. Really? You are honestly too busy to get out of the car? Correct me if I'm wrong, but usually it doesn't even take that long to deal with your errands inside. Yeah I get the benefit of speed but still, I'd call that serious laziness. Maybe they should give free pills for that there as well. I heard them talking on the radio how it is possible to make a grocery list online and the store will send you the order. In some cases that is probably smart if you calculate the costs of home delivery versus the costs of gas and the time spent on the shopping trip. My concern is, however, if this will become a more common phenomenon in our society. Could it work and where?
Well, now that I think about it, children's daycare system is already working with the same idea. You drive to the kindergarten, drop your kids and drive away. Yeah there are some messy parts included, like crying and bags and change of information and the kids' temper issues. But basically it isn't far from it. As for the new ideas, a drive-in clothing store would be a huge relief when you need some certain piece of clothing really badly and don't have the time or the energy to search for it in a million different stores. However, that idea is born dead since assuming that it would be a common system, the fashion industry would be useless. Besides, identity issues might increase drastically when everyone looked like they came straight from the assembly line.
What is too much then? Since it is possible to get your medicine by opening the car window, how about we imagine that the first stop on that road was a drive-in doctor's office. Well, based on the stories you sometimes hear when people complain about the health care system, that might even work. Seriously, it would be enough to have the microphone where you could explain your symptoms and then they'd guide you to one of the three places: one where you get cortisone, another with antibiotics and the last one with a recorded voice saying "we'll keep an eye on the situation".
A little exaggeration is always good to prove a point. This time the point is both the insanity of the subject I am writing about and the remark to doctors. To be fair, I admit that I don't need to use the services of our health care system very much so I am only talking about stories I've heard. No offense to those doctors who actually examine what's wrong and do something about it.
