Do you ever have one of those days when you realize you have three options: to do what you should do, to do what you really want to do or to just give in and do what you most likely will end up doing anyway? Then, a shameful number of hours later you realize that option number three happened, 'cause of course it did, 'cause someone was smart enough to create an online service where you don't even have to lift a finger to start a new episode of the series but the website will just keep on going until you finally manage to press pause after several failed attempts of reasoning with yourself.
I could have done some work for the camps, studied, continued my exchange application, taken a walk or basically anything else, as it would have been more productive. But the thing is, that life isn't always about doing what you're supposed to. This is a terrible example of that, but sometimes you just gotta go with the flow, and this time I just shut off my brain and stared at the screen for way too long. I love it when I don't have to think at all, it's like a mini-vacation from my life and my own head.
Not that things are bad in them, I just needed to be selfish and take a break only for myself. Not thinking about what I am expected to produce or take care of, not caring about whether I am just postponing the inevitable or making a smart choice of organizing my schedule. Besides, I will do everything I am supposed to because that's just who I am. I will finish each task in time and with honorable success, since I am not one for slacking with things that really matter to me.
And I am relaxed now, really. It just stings to hear the tiny voice at the back of your head reminding you that it's all just a facade to avoid option one and suppress option two.
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