One more night

Sort of freaking out in a good way right now. I just want to fall asleep so I could wake up, get my stuff and get out. My new life and future career awaits!

Tomorrow's moving day!

Soon

Here I am, sitting in my apartment where there's a small clear space in the middle and everything else is packed up in boxes and bags. Somehow it still feels amazingly unreal that I really am leaving this part of my life behind and turning a page to a whole different era. The sky is flashing with lightnings and thunder, if I didn't knew it was a storm it'd be pretty close to the effect of the huge Olympic stadium concert of Finland's biggest rap artist the other night. I saw him, by the way, at the official afterparty in a nightclub where we actually shouldn't and couldn't have been but well, life happens.

I didn't think it would make me so happy to start packing but it did. Piece by piece, item by item I've got closer to closing the door behind me to an empty room and saying goodbye to Helsinki for now. Maybe even forever. Looking at the course descriptions and the pictures of my new apartment, I get more and more excited about starting the university.

Turning the page also means I have to start from the beginning once again, get to know new people, form bonds that again, hopefully last for a lifetime, create a life that I am happy with. So many possibilities that I can choose from, since this time I know it is my thing for real.

I went to my old school yesterday to get my friend, and the weirdest thing about it was to notice that even though I was gone, nothing had changed. I felt different about it, I was different since I was no longer a part of it and everything had just kept moving like nothing happened. I belong somewhere else now.

What's going on?

I've been having a summer break from writing as well, apparently. It's stupid 'cause I should be relaxing but somehow I've been really busy all the time. Funny, isn't it? When you have time to take it easy, you definitely will not have time to take it easy.

Well, since my last post I've managed to do quite a lot. I got an apartment from my new hometown and I am so excited about moving and the beginning of university. However, I've been making a list of things to do while I am still in the capital.  I've been to a summer theater, enjoyed family time with my whole family, done a little shopping, started running again and tried to get a tan. Just a few days ago we started to gather the berries, which takes forever... I've practised playing the piano since I will go and play at a wedding in October, which I am really excited about as well. I'll play all kinds of cool songs, including the themes of Game of thrones, Pirates of the Caribbean and Twilight. And the couple is practically family since the groom is my someday-to-be brother-in-law's brother, right? I just had to write that sentence, I just had to. On top of that I've dealt with all kinds of paperwork which is the most annoying thing ever. I don't like it, I have to admit. Could someone else just sort out all the applications and forms for me?

I thought I wouldn't go to school before September but well, it turns out that my time will come on Tuesday. Not as a student, though, but as a teacher. I got a job for next week to substitute the 5th grade teacher since he's on a paternity leave so the kids will have me instead. I take on the challenge with excitement and a little bit of fear.

Two weeks left here at home in the perfect summer paradise that I have loved since my childhood, then it's time to go and pack up my life and start it all over again. 

 

Days 7 & 8 - Exhilaration & exhaustion

Not having time to write about yesterday definitely indicates that we all had a busy day. We woke up way too soon, in the middle of the wildest dreams and managed to get into our bus (registration plate appropriately VIP) that took us to our destination, the monastery of Lintula. Such a beautiful place! 

On the way back we announced roles for the wedding that would take place that evening. Everybody got one and we had everything from Finnish trash celebrities to the leader of our eastern neighbor. The wedding itself was a lot of fun, though nobody really listened in the sense of learning since they were concentrating on each others goofy appearances.

I am glad we had so much fun activities that day since I had some personal struggles. Not getting a job I really wanted and having to deal with some people who operates on the very opposite wavelength than me caused me unnecessary trouble and turned my mood down a bit. The bright side is that I pulled through everything thanks to the great support of my team and dear friends. I also learned about myself and my ability to do the appropriate thing when all I wanna do is hit someone. I barely ever have situations where I am simply so frustrated and annoyed that I can't take it anymore and now afterwards it is very interesting to wonder my own reactions.

I would have wanted to sleep the little time I had left after the final night's crying and singing but well, the girls just had to try to run just when I was falling asleep. The result was only four hours of sleep, dozens of mosquito bites and an exhausted, easily irritated leader. 

Today has been mostly about cleaning up the camp center and trying to wrap up the camp time in a good way. I have struggled through tiredness and responsibilities and I cannot even tell how relieved I am. When the bus left, I got tears in my eyes just because it was over, I did it, we did it, I could finally let the stress go and rest.

Day 6 - Party people

Awesome! My feelings are up to the roof right now, the day has been probably the most successful so far. The morning started with a liturgy, after which we had our normal camp activities. What felt like really soon, the dreaded part of the day, parents' visit, began with a beautiful service. To my surprise the evening went more smoothly than ever, a huge thanks is in order to my amazing team! Parents enjoyed it and we had fun.

One of my favorite moments of a camp is always the ask the priest-lesson. We had it in the church, everyone had written down questions about anything and everything. I found out some new things that I had always wondered but never known, which was very nice. Speaking of favorite moments, the lesson was followed by the biggest and most memorable event, disco!

Our trick succeeded perfectly. We told them that we have a visitor from Kuopio to tell us about some boring stuff, and they totally bought it. When we went to the main building to hear her lecture, the lights had been switched off and the music started to play. The amazement and confusion on their faces was priceless. We partied for a while, ate, had some games and slowly danced as a big circle to Celine Dion's My heart will go on and we did it, we made them cry!!! Happy tears this time and that's what tells us we did something right.

Now I have nothing more to say, except that I am really starting to feel relief and happiness that we have managed to provide the youngsters a time of their life they will remember for a long time. All this means that I have to have succeeded as the leader at least a little! I can look back at the past week and point out things I would have done differently but I also see where I have grown from last year's camp. I am grateful that I was given this chance and I want the parish and the people who work there to know that I appreciate their trust in me.

One day and a half left, hopefully everything will keep going the way it is right now and we can have a perfect ending to an exceptionally functional camp!

 

Day 5 - Death around every corner

That sounds bad, I know. However, it is only appropriate considering the theme of the day. Today we have dealt with the issues of death and ethics. We also had a fake funeral for my dear friend who had a pretty bad Midsummer with her husband...

I have had a lot more energy today and the difference is huge. I am my cheerful self again, I have been wandering around the camp center talking with everyone and laughed at them since I hid an immunity idol here somewhere, in the Survivor spirit, and they are having trouble finding it. I did a good job! The immunity idol does not help you stay at the camp longer, we're not kicking anyone out, it provides you with the first turn to take food at the next five meals. That's pretty valuable, if you ask me.

We also started a game called Murderer, which has once again proved not to work properly among 15-year-olds. It is just too damn hard to keep your mouth shut and not tell anyone who you're about to murder and whether you're dead or alive. Some of them are in it 100 % which makes me happy. We'll have our winner by the end of the camp!

Only three days remain and tomorrow we'll deal with our biggest challenge yet organizing-wise, since it is the day when parents come visit. My team and I will try to cope with 161 people for a few hours, after which we'll all be exhausted. But we're getting closer and closer to the moment of saying we did it! so I cannot complain. 

This day has made me turn my thoughts a little bit back to myself and my own life, especially listening the ethics lesson and wondering if I want to go talk with our priest alone in Idon'tknowwhatitisinEnglish but kind of the catholic confession situation, it's just a little different in our church.

I wish it was easy to face your own realities but sometimes I have to give in and admit I'm a coward.

 

Day 4 - Can't even come up with a title to describe the day.

I had to check my previous post to remember which day it is. I don't really know what to write about this day so this was a basic camp day, nothing special, nothing bad. We did have a christening where Mickey Mouse was renamed Anna Maro, which was pretty fun. But now that I try to think back to today, I can't come up with anything extraordinary. Youngsters are having fun though, which is good.

I hope I didn't jinx myself with yesterday's text since today I had a bad evening. I was just annoyed by everything and at times I could almost see steam coming out of my ears. I had my reasons, though, so it wasn't just any random crankiness.

However, my mood turned better a little later after a few exchanges of frustration and I started to laugh and smile again. Old camp stories always help!

That's it for today I guess. Didn't have any enlightening moments of realization related to leadership or anything. I did participate in a few games, though, which was fun! I gotta balance the responsibilities somehow.

This text is boring and useless and blaah but who cares. Tomorrow we'll deal with death so hopefully I'll be more cheerful then!