At the moment I am in the post-training state where my body is still very alert and full of energy and excitement. This is a deceptive feeling, 'cause on one hand I feel like running 10 kilometers but on the other hand I know that my muscles are just exhausted and wouldn't work at all. Whatever, I like this feeling.
And even better,after a while when all the adrenaline has faded away and my brain realises it is time to calm down, I will get that almost heavenly tiredness of the body. The one that you can only get after doing something really exhausting, and thanks to my trainer, today I totally have. I am a little worried, though, since I had a little break in trainings, that tomorrow and on Tuesday I won't have the same opinion. However, even though climbing stairs and just moving in general might sometimes feel like the hell itself, there is some pleasure to be found in the middle of the pain. You know that you have done something, given all you've got. There are times when the effort to just get out and go to trainings seems unbearable, especially since I know mine are always exhausting, but it always turns out that it was the hardest part. I fight quite a lot in kickboxing trainings yeah, but the hardest battle I always have with myself. To overcome the laziness, to willingly pass the bliss of just staying at home doing nothing, is what determines my strength. Then, in some cases I manage to drag myself out of the house but have no motivation at all. For those times I have put some certain songs to my phone to give me the much needed energy boost. Visualizing situations and feelings and so on also helps. So here's my tip, feel free to steal it :)
When you spend a day doing nothing you end up being as tired as you would have ran a marathon. It is so weird but somehow understandable. The way I see it is that the body (or yeah I guess it is the brain) always expects to get something to do, new challenges or extraordinary activities to freshen up. When it doesn't get those, it gets kind of sad and decides to act offended and pretend to be really tired. And no, this is not trying to be a conspiracy theory against every single individual of the human kind. The other end of this rope is doing different kinds of tasks during the day. When you do a little bit of this and a little bit of that, your body is happy and rewards you with a wonderful, energetic state of mind filled with ambition and positive hopes and dreams. When in this mood you feel like the sky is the limit, there is nothing you can't do. I love that feeling. So empowering that you almost burst.
This is so true that there is no denying it. Of course you get tired if you exhaust yourself with a billion things to do and of course you have some energy left if you haven't used it to anything, but my larger point here is what I encourage you to focus on. Our minds and bodies have their ways to make us be better people all the time, make us feel good and happy. I am convinced that this is mainly rising from the subconsciousness because if we could continuously acknowledge and control this, we would never be lazy. One notice on laziness, by the way, have you ever realised that after being lazy you never feel good and relaxed? The ruthless knocking of conscience at the back of your head forbids that.
Nevertheless, I seek that state of mind filled with peace. These two described in the beginning can be the path or the reason for what fills your mind and body thoroughly. Everything is right and good. Nothing can disturb you, nothing can shake your balance and faith in yourself and in the world. I find that walking outside when it is so bright I can't bear to look ahead and everything is just calm and graceful. I find it in exhaustion after doing something enjoyable like a good training. I find it in a song or in a film.
Mind, body and soul. Having them all three together in what you do creates an experience, an emotion, that is worth looking for.
One of the most beautiful Finnish songs I know, enjoy!
There is something that we all do, including myself, that annoys me so much. Very often we are ashamed of taking the joy out of the situation. The embarrassment of having people stare at you or making an exception to the norm with your behaviour is just so horrible. I am guilty sometimes, I admit, but afterwards I always get the haunting feeling of "why didn't I let go for once and have fun without caring about what other people think?"
It is almost hilarious how ridiculous it is that we let ourselves be steered by random people that we don't even know. Why should they decide how I am living my life, how I want to enjoy it and have fun? The fear of standing out from the normal and acceptable makes us wear a suit when we would be so much more comfortable in sweatpants, walk on an imaginary line with our eyes focused on our destination when we really would like to just jump and spin 'cause we're in such a happy mood or control everything from facial expression to the tone of our voice to make sure nobody in the same café will think we're weird or inappropriate.
One of my goals for the future when it comes to myself and becoming a better person is to let go of this stupid, excessive worry of embarrasing myself. Yeah well I still won't go to the grocery store in pyjamas or stand in the middle of the market place singing movie soundtracks. What I really mean with this whole subject, is being so comfortable being genuinely yourself that you don't mind if you cause a smile or two in the public. And a little addition: this applies to spending time with friends, alone you might be taken to the madhouse sooner or later. It is okay to take a few dance steps on the streets after a great dancing lesson with your friends, it is okay to go play to the playground if you feel like doing something amusing.
Smile when you are happy. You are allowed to show what you are feeling, to make the best out of every second in good company and enjoy yourself. It is courage to stop bending to the thoughts of those who are drowning under social pressure. Be free.
I know many of my posts have seemed pretty future-oriented and that's why I would like to concentrate on the other end for once, which is the past. People say that the past is the past and you should look forward, which I don't totally agree with. In case of an incident that had better be left buried in the depths of oblivion it makes sense not to dig it upall the time, but a moment looking back on your life every now and then would do good to everyone.
People can learn from their mistakes. A forgotten friend, a matter left unfinished, a way of handling a situation can haunt you for a long time. You learn to live with it, but there are times when it pops up again to remind you. Some things can never be forgotten, especially when it comes to disappointmet, sadness or some other extremely strong emotion. Maybe there is a reason for that. If we always forget, there isn't a path you can keep on walking, there are just separate steps you can take and many of them might be slippery since you haven't learned to avoid the ones that make you fall. Then you fall again and again.
On the other hand, a moment spent in the sweet and fun memories can be worth incredibly much. At times of disbelief, sadness or fear you can absorb positive energy and maybe a laughter or two from remembering a well-spent holiday,a success you totally deserved, a new acquaintance that is now a part of your life.
Your past is what leads you to the future. Without memories to cherish we have nothing to aim at, nothing to define who we have been and who we want to be. However, the past is a fountain that you have to use wisely; too much is always too much. Getting stuck, not being able to move on, hanging on to a passed minute in time can consume you. There is the time for letting go of some things while others should be saved in the never-ending storage of images, sounds and emotions.
Your memories are the puzzle pieces that create the picture of your life.
It was about the time to get out of the house today. These past few days that I've just sat at home studying and studying started to make me go crazy (literally... I was making weird sounds and laughing at every idiot thing) so today I decided to go to the city. Since my family lives outside it, surrounded by the beauty of Finnish nature (read: in the middle of nowhere), it requires a decision beforehand if you wanna go shopping, for instance.
It isn't so long ago that I travelled there back and forth every single damned schoolday, but a fortnight makes you feel alienated. I was almost bewildered by the streetlights, traffic lights and light signs. Okay that is a little exaggeration, I am not a hillbilly wearing wellies all year long. But my point here is that since I made a tiny change into my routine I felt so much better. Even studying wasn't so hard after doing something else for a change.
Which lead to yet another life philosophy. In my opinion, what makes life so great is the unexpected or the surprising. Though I appreciate daily routines and the secure feeling of having everything under control, you will never feel completely satisfied with your life unless you make an exception to the normal every once in a while. It can be anything; a spontaneous rock-climbing trip, trying a new receipe after a few months of pasta, a change of scenery for the weekend or just a new hairstyle. Anything you can think of, except boyfriends/girlfriends, that makes you just stupid. Or unable to commit. Every time something changes there is the feeling of freshness and excitement, followed by the short, fascinating period of habituating when the new is so cool and cheery.
If you realise that you are trapped in the constant, never-ending circle of similarity, force it to stop. It is incredibly simple, you don't have to move across the country to succeed with it. I started by changing the sweatpants I had worn for a few days into leggins and a big shirt and replacing my studying spot two chairs left from the previous spot. Even that made a huge difference! If you always buy a black shirt, try picking the blue one next time. If you always spend your holiday at the family cottage, surprise everyone (yourself included) by buying a one-way ticket to somewhere a few hundreds of kilometers away and go sightseeing.
If you won't do it now, then when? Don't fossilize inside your own life.
A modern phenomenon that sometimes makes me really wonder what the present day human beings are made of, is this weird inability and stupidity in practical matters. I guess it is partly due to all this development of products and machines that are supposed to make your life easier, but a very worrying side effect is merely laziness.
I heard the presenters on the radio talking about a product that is a solid proof of it, that is already cooked minced meat. Can people really be so incapable that they can't fry a bit of meat themselves? It is not rocket science. The presenter went on guessing what the future brings by suggesting already cooked water. "Just cook and it is ready!" Funny, but frighteningly to the point. Unacceptable disrespect towards the beauty of human brains, may I say, by the big guys who rule the markets. Another place that makes me feel like banging my head to the table is Facebook. It is a good place, I am not claming otherwise, but come on, people. Is it really necessary to let the whole world know how you don't know how to open a metallic can or something equally embarrasing i-didn't-need-to-hear-this stuff? Or that you got a driver's licence, after which you forgot which is the break pedal and which is the gas pedal and oops, I crashed into a wall!
There are tons of seemingly unnecessary products being sold, like a device that warms up the breathing air for you before you inhale it. Excuse me.. what?? Yeah, I get that it is cold out there in the winter, but seriously? I am sure every one of us can think of such items that are completely ridiculous but brilliantly marketed so the manufacturers earn loads of cash.
I am not sure if it is just about the technology we are offered or if over time something changed in us as well. Many people seem to have lost the one thing that would fix most problems we face on daily basis. I am referring to common sense. In the old days people had to work for what they wanted and owned. Nowadays if your daddy is rich, you get a car, an apartment and practically whatever you want just by blinking your eyes. Don't get pissed because of this, I am not speaking on a general level, but I have seen so many examples that I can honestly mean what I say. For these people it is impossible to sink their perfectly shiny (and obviously expensive) fake nails into any kind of dirt. And imagine what a nightmare it was when I only had ten grand on my bank account yesterday! While some might use their head to figure out what to do when something's broken or you don't know what to do, there are always the ones who get their puppy look on averting all the responsibility and say shit happens, I can hire someone to solve it. No, money doesn't make you stupid. You can buy a ridiculous product and still be wise as Socrates. I am just saying that the modern human relies too much on outside help to get through tiny problems when solving them would actually do only good to them. I appreciate rationality, creativity and imaginativeness.
Reading some texts in my English book today, a thought came to me. It is actually something I have considered already earlier but have never really had time or opportunities to turn real. I am talking about volunteer work. Not that kind of work where the employer makes you believe the exhausting workload that feels like the hell itself is for a good cause with a ridiculously low pay, but real, vital aid in a spot suffered from a catasprophe or suffering from poverty. To me it would be so cool to be able to contribute to such an incredibly helpful mission.
In the media and among celebrities it seems like volunteering is something that defines your level of appreciation. The more money and time you give to those in need, the more popular and liked you are. Okay, I don't claim that everyone does it for publicity since it is great they do it no matter what for. My point is that altghough helping underprivileged seems to be in, how many people do you really know who participate in such activities? Sadly, I can't think of so many.
I have always been the type that likes to please others (not excessively, of course) and make others feel good. I can put someone else in front of my needs and sacrifice time or effort for someone else's benefit. That is the reason why I think volunteer work, for example for the Red Cross or something, would be a suitable solution for me. Who knows, maybe I don't get in any university so why not realise this fascinating option then? I also have some free time to kill in the summer so I guess I could dig up some information... maybe I could do something short-term, help somehow for a week or two? I don't even care so much what I would do, it would be just a new experience. I have to mention that by donating blood I have already done my bit a little. I will definitely make it a habit and I encourage you all to do the same.
In my great visions I am already teaching English to young African kids and clearing neighbourhoods after an earthquake somewhere in Central America. I really hope I will be able to do that someday. After all, it is only a matter of will, selflessness and a little bit of spontaneity. I'd be thrilled to hear any tips or experiences! :)
