The unbearable awkwardness of being

There is something that we all do, including myself, that annoys me so much. Very often we are ashamed of taking the joy out of the situation. The embarrassment of having people stare at you or making an exception to the norm with your behaviour is just so horrible. I am guilty sometimes, I admit, but afterwards I always get the haunting feeling of "why didn't I let go for once and have fun without caring about what other people think?"

It is almost hilarious how ridiculous it is that we let ourselves be steered by random people that we don't even know. Why should they decide how I am living my life, how I want to enjoy it and have fun? The fear of standing out from the normal and acceptable makes us wear a suit when we would be so much more comfortable in sweatpants, walk on an imaginary line with our eyes focused on our destination when we really would like to just jump and spin 'cause we're in such a happy mood or control everything from facial expression to the tone of our voice to make sure nobody in the same café will think we're weird or inappropriate.

One of my goals for the future when it comes to myself and becoming a better person is to let go of this stupid, excessive worry of embarrasing myself. Yeah well I still won't go to the grocery store in pyjamas or stand in the middle of the market place singing movie soundtracks. What I really mean with this whole subject, is being so comfortable being genuinely yourself that you don't mind if you cause a smile or two in the public. And a little addition: this applies to spending time with friends, alone you might be taken to the madhouse sooner or later. It is okay to take a few dance steps on the streets after a great dancing lesson with your friends, it is okay to go play to the playground if you feel like doing something amusing. 

Smile when you are happy. You are allowed to show what you are feeling, to make the best out of every second in good company and enjoy yourself. It is courage to stop bending to the thoughts of those who are drowning under social pressure. Be free.