Simple plan... or a few

I am a little bit of a control freak. Not the pain-in-the-ass-kind of obsessive freak who demands to know everything about everything and everyone, it is more about having my life organised. Some symptoms of this feature are for example planning almost always what I will wear the next day and packing everything ready in the evening for the morning. Probably many people do that so it is not so freaky. In addition, I always wear a watch since I HATE being late. Arriving a little too late makes me confused 'cause I've missed something in the beginning so it always takes a while to catch up. I honestly would arrive everywhere at least 10 minutes early so that I could get a look at the situation and prepare myself for what is going to happen. Being a conscientious student also results from this. Studying plans, schedules for everything (literally everything, and not only in studies... some days I know exactly how my day will go if nothing disturbs it) and finishing my tasks is normal to me. 

I want to take a little closer look at these plans of mine. I literally plan almost everything. My student councellor said to me some time ago, being totally right, that you cannot plan your whole life at 18. Well, I wasn't exactly trying to, but I am dealing with all these desicions about applying to university which makes me think 10 years ahead sometimes. Once I create a plan, I try to come up with all the possible endings and make a plan b for those resolutions. I know it is kind of stupid, I acknowledge that you can never tell in advance what life will throw at you. And referring to my last post, I have already many different scenerios of my wedding, and also of my future house, job, kids etc. Okay, now you think she indeed is crazy. I'm not, really.

All this doesn't mean that I can't let go every now and then and just live in the moment. I am not (read: I try not to be) locked inside my imaginary world trying to reach my perfect vision all the time. I experience bumps on the road constantly and they change my plans all the time. Besides, I find new paths to walk on and learn lessons that give me new directions. I guess my brain just works so super-fast that it needs something to keep busy with. (That was my kind of humour, in case someone missed it.) 

Organising is more than just an obsession. It is a lifestyle, not a bad habit. It keeps me calm to know that I am holding all the threads and I know where my life is going to. Occasional moments of unawareness are very welcome and refreshing, but too many would just make me stressed. I need to have everything around me in control to understand myself in this chaotic world. 

Now Jennifer Lopez asks a very important question and I hope everyone will consider it :)