Ohoi, captain!

No, I am not becoming a sea captain. A captain yes but without a ship. Instead, a camp center and 30 teenagers. I'll have my crew, though, so I hope we will make it safely back to the harbor. The tide may get high, the wind will blow and shake the boat but I am ready to embark.

Okay I should stop with these sailing metaphors... I don't even sail!

So this is about the fact that I have been given the honour to lead an orthodox youth camp for a bit over a week that is arranged for teenagers that will turn 15 that year. Exciting, though a little scary. I have quite a lot of experience about that kind of work, I just haven't been in such a high position before. However, it's a chance to accept a challenge and it would be against my personality to refuse to try. 

Since my job will be different than I thought when I got accepted (let me add that usually leaders are chosen like a year before the summer camp, I found out a week ago.. the camp is in july), I will have to do some soul-searching. I will be the person everyone will turn to, I will be the one to make the decision, it is my call who I order to do the tasks. I will hold the threads, I will assemble the puzzle from a hundred pieces that are lying all over the place at the moment. So the burning question is: what kind of a leader do I want to be? And even more important; what kind of a leader will I be?

I have a habit of trying to please people, which can be harmful this time. It will make sure that I work for the best benefit of the teenagers, but I have to remember that I have to stay strong with my way when I know it's right. I have to balance between closeness and distance, discipline and freedom, democracy and dictatorship. Okay, I can say for sure already that I won't be the feared dictator who makes everyone's life miserable, but I hope I will have the strength to trust myself enough with the decisions so that I won't be excessively influenced by others who might not be as experienced. I hope I will have authority and respect among the youngsters and my co-workers, especially since some of them will be older than me. I wish to avoid stupid drama and problems caused by irrelevant matters. I know I will have to loosen my perfectionism and probably accept having to make a lot of compromises, but I will not negotiate about justice. If someone does something bad, there will be consequences. A good job will be rewarded, the struggling will be helped and supported, the trustworthy will gain responsibilites. I will see my work as a leader successful if people are having fun, they learn and they are sad to leave from the camp. Even one tear on the last day will be more rewarding than my paycheck.

Seems like the year 2013 is going to be one of the craziest years of my life with all these experiences, achievements, changes and chances. I have learned and experienced a lot already so far and I am only eagerly looking forward to the rest! I guess this summer will mean growing up for real and starting to live my own life, so here's a matching song.